day tripper

Ailam! Thanks for the little note in the begining. YER WELCOME by the way:D I really liked this. You really didnt have anything wrong accept a few typos(: "it was ...

Hey! Wow this was very nice; very unique. "You do like nice Marissa," It should be You do look nice Marissa. "...typical straight black hair, the only easy thing..." Okay, ...

Hey DW:D Okay, first thing. For your authors not you should place that in bold or else but a line under it so we know when it ends. I got ...

Well, this time around I read Scasha's post and she caught every single thing that I cought. So, instead of repeating everything she wrote, I'll just tell you my over ...

Hey, well I'm going to start off by saying this was really rushed. You need to take time to get a feel of your characters before writing. You need more ...

Hey! I know it's kind of late but I read this one the day you posted it and had this longgg critique and then my computer died and I lost ...

Aw I liked this chapter a lot! Once again, nothing was wrong. The bondee and bonder names were good! Creative, yes. I didn't really see anything wrong. It deff. is ...

I liked it a lot. But it does remind me of Twilight. But you know what? I'm going to go read the others and see if my mind changes(: I ...

This was very nice. I liked how you introduced it. I didn't see many grammer errors. But you used a lot of commas resulting in some run ons. Also, when ...

Haha this was cute. but, it felt like it all happend so quick. Like, in just a few paragraphs, they were out on the sunset, went to sleep, got up, ...

Alright, this made my jump. haha I knew it was coming but oh so soon made me go OMG. hahha Anywho, You had a few grammical errors in this. Somethings ...

Alright, to tell you the truth this wasn't as good as you usually do. first: My eyes flickered awake to the digital clock flashing at me the time. 8:30 in ...

Okay, so I got your message just as I got on the computer from returning from my one night vacation! d: Alright, I read it and even though you call ...

Alright, I'm about to head out the door for a lacrosse game, but I made sure I had time to read this. It was good but confusing at the same ...

Well, this was very good. The detail was purely amazing and even though it was a little short, I loved all of it. I would just say that instead of ...